The Nurthan Nurptuals. PT 1

 

The Nurthan Nuptials.
(David and Jill Rodrigues Family)

 

0.24- Jill looks stoked to be walking down the aisle with her daughter and husband to marry Nathan…

1.26- introducing her kids, Nurie is no longer a singular entity, she is now Nurie Rodrigues Keller married to Nathan keller…. Or as I like to call her OfANNADUGGERSBROTHER.

1.31- Apparently she has a son timothy… he’s shown in a plane and has a goal to be a missionary pilot, the only kind of pilot fit for Jesus. He Grown up and move out. Next Door.. I shit you not. next to mummy to they can starve together.

 Fun fact: After Married Nurthan and  Missionary Pilot for jesus timmay, the elder three Kaylee, Renee and Phillip got two advertisements..um pictures in her commercial, the rest got just the one picture. She’s clearly only concerned about the 3 she can marry off now as timmay is married to Jesus and his plane.

2.26 – Yes that long of an intro..
Jill standing next to a rake she calls nurie.. (sorry umm that rake is nurie.) she is still raving on about her being Matron on Honour. Still claim nurie askt her..

Jill looks like she’s about to burst as nurie reads the lines she carefully wrote for her to say, She faked not knowing how long ago her and shreks vowelle (spelt how she says it) renewal was..

I’m only 3 mins in… fuck… 

 

3.40  Apparently Nurie wanted both Jill and Shrek to walk her down the aisle for her transfer of authority day/dream wedding. This took about 617601 hours to explain, Jill wanted to not let nurie go till the last second.

 

4.20  It’s Nail day, They’ve pulled out all stops and to save on the cleaning up at home they’ve decided to trim, and paint their nails at a local café of course. It’s the true and godly thing to do. Jessus says.

4.48- wedding rehearsal time, I’m on the edge of my seat this will be party of the century I’m sure. Almost a minute of prayers the sacrifices are willing and waiting dressed in red, to symbolise the blood of jesus I’m sure.  I can’t wait for the ritual to begin things are heating up now. Strange decorations for a ritual but eh.

5.40 weird sign about writing a date night for the Bnide and Troom, unsure who they are but ok

5.48 the food offerings are pizza, limp salad, chocolate circle things and bottles of water.. I’m sure Jesus would have liked bread and wine but ok cool

Next they practice walking, one foot in front of the others the elders first followed by the children in a wagon, then nurie gets to practice her final walk before she passes on to promised land, mummy and daddy holding her back as it’s not time to run yet nurie. Settle down.

Nurie and Nathan hold hands in front of everyone, that’s the most exciting thing so far Nathan must be wetting his pants.

 

8.13 forgiven childmolester Josh DUGGAR is hosting a game for the Bnide and troom, I think he’s having a stroke as I can’t understand what he is saying.

8.37 Nathan is pretending Nurie has her own mind and is kindly letting her speak. Nurie sheds tears about her wonderful parents, who have allowed her to leave and enter into Nathan authority, Nathan awkwardly smiles, but it think behind that he is shitting himself and wondering what he has gotten into.

9.34 or maybe he’s holding something in… he’s looking around for a quick exit  to the bathroom while nurie enter her second minute of Jill and David training, they’ve made her a deal, the more praise the more food maybe?
 

10.31 Nathan gets the microphone to do much of the same. His speech seems much smaller then nuries.

 

11.35 The Plexus Queen herself tries to praise herself as many times as possible under the guise of congratulating her daughter. She praised her sweet and submissive nature, while patting herself on the back that her starvation techniques have broken nurie enough she will do anything for her. Jill fake cries and David is onto her shit and just stands there with his hands in his pocket, probably holding the kitkats she’s hidden there for him. Jill compliments them on matching their clothes today. GG NURTHAN

At 12.59 shrek lets go of his kitkats and comforts his woman.

13.20 Shrek Preaches while trying to contain his stomach in his shirt.

13.39 Jill and Nurie cry into napkins. All the money they spent on pizza they can’t afford tissues.

 

14.44 it’s open mic night The Fabulous David Waller is up next.

15.45 Pedoboy is obviously acting as MC.

15.55 Suzette hands Josh a baby girl and takes her turn. Knowing what I know about Josh this is creepy

 

17.16 Jill’s first headship speaks, he gets his name up on screen and screen and everything. It should be noted he’s the only one she’s given that honour too in the speeches. They finally end at 18.55

 

18.56 Transfer of authority day/Dream wedding.  Video of the Identical ROD BOYS. Seriously they look identical Timmay shows off his “Natural” Bottle Blonde hair in his only unique feature. It’s probably about 11am- as Infamous Fundie Celeb Molester told everyone to be ready for. The fabulous David Waller is noticeably absent or he could be filming. I’m thinking it can’t be Jill as she would be singing or rattling on about herself in her baby voice.

19:30 there he is never mind everything is fab again.

19.33 The Fabulous David Waller dresses everyone.

The boys looked like they had fun doing Troom pictures 😊 no snark Nathan looks really excited.

19.58 Oh what a feeling! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HubZ2cABBfU

 20.04 Nathan posing with a driving downhill sign, as if his life is going downhill now he’s getting married?? Bit offensive to Nurie. I think, I would think being able to touch someone and actually act on your natural sexual urges would be pretty uphill myself.

 The next few pictures are weird.

David joins his sons and Nathan for a few pictures.

20.20 things get weird again…. I mean it’s 2020 makes sense I guess.

The rest of the Troom Pictures are more normal and a bit sweet.

20.33

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<END OF PART ONE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm done for this sitting, I'll need wine for my next sitting, I'm 20 mins into a hr video. Send wine.