30.35 Jill made the entire video she just had to mention that of course She even wrote copyright on it. Since she grifts I doubt that she actually paid for copyright just says it.
Wedding begins with an artistic zoom in on a door at
31.17 it makes sense, this is where the male sacrifice enters with the troomsmen. How nice it is they made the guy on crutches walk in and sit down, at the least someone’s health was thought about. The pregnant ladies were not.
32.10 another arty transition to the girls walking down to the aisle very very slowly…. Not Nurie 1 (Kaylee I think) Looks low key gorgeous.
34.36 In all seriousness I’m concerned about Janessa she doesn’t look with it at all and isn’t even sitting up at all, how everyone is complicit and not doing a fucking thing to help this girl is disgusting.
35.05 the pall bearers proceed up the aisle
35.07 oh wait they seem to be rolling out the white carpet my bad I’m getting ahead of myself.
35.15 I think suzette might have smoked something before she came, she is tripping.
37.28 Jill and David walk Nurie down the Aisle. Jill is holding on so tightly, Jill and Nurie grin at each other and David’s just thinking of taking nuries share of food at dinner I think.
Jilly takes the time to talk to some little blonde kids, I think Priscillas littlest as she is walking down the aisle, They are sitting with Enabler and Sexpest. David is wearing yet another shade of snot green on his tie which bounces off his stomach as he walks.
38.27 Nathan looks genuinely stoked to see Nurie at the end of the aisle that’s kinda cute, Nurie is all smiles at the point too.
38.29 Shrek thus far delivers the clearest line of the shitshow oops video. Who gives this woman to marry this man, the pastor asked, Her mother and I do. This is so telling as Nurie was possession being passed onto another headship. Also at this angle Jills dress is tightly showing off her ample buttocks, NIKE..
39.00 The ceremony being The Rodrigues and Kellers are blessed all 50 of showed GG, guys well done. Nurie and Nathan have been looking forward to it Yada yada yada.
39.37 hate filled preaching begins, I’ll condense it for you, marriage good. Adulterers, fornicatiors and whoremongers bad. I’m disappointed he didn’t look to Josh the adulterer/Fornicator or Jill the whore mongerer at this point. God Judges, and he likes marriage. The essence of a marriage is the covenant. So I’m guessing Nurie and Nathan have a covenant marriage. He stresses it’s a binding promise they are making today. God created eve to be a companion and helpmeet. A man is Incomplete without a woman. God could have created a harem on woman but he didn’t he created one and the heterosexual relationship is his fave.
I think I might have fallen asleep… Marriage has been abandoned by this current culture. I’ll have to tell my husband, we abandoned marriage. Cool.
God likes submissive and obedient young people. So does Josh.
Courtship is biblical but abandoned.
55.00 ish- Jesus allowed his side to be pierced to take a bride.. the priest and Nurie… I may have missed a lot but my ears were starting to bleed so I had to skip forward.
57.18 The Keller’s approach the alter. Oh and shrek The Kellers light a candle for Nathan and Jill and Shrek for Nurie then Nathan and Nurie light a unity candle. Then blow out the candles their parents gave them. As in fuck you parentals we’re blowing you off.
Then of course they pray, You can barely hear David over the piano
59.44 Camera zooms in on Mr Keller, whom David prayer has put him to sleep it looks like. Me too Mike. Me too. Thankfully Nathan is holding him up.
1.00.14 Camera operator has obscured out view of Jill. Nice work.
1.01.01 Mike wakes up and it’s his turn to
put everyone to sleep.
1.01.02 He only talked for a minute praise Jesass!
1.01.03 Its Hymmer time with Timothy and
Hosanna. WOO!
1.05.21 This is supposed to be a sweet moment with the bride handing her grandmothers flowers, but nurie is close to death so Jill to the rescue, she hands them out. While Nurie watched.
1.05.57 The Entire family is now on the alter. Mike and Suzette were shoo’d away Jill needs to be centre stage. Lucky Nathan hasn’t been kicked off the stage!
1.06.10 Shit they are going to sing. not sure what I did to deserve this.
1.10.21 I’m hoping the torture me section of this video is over.
1.11.04 Nathan and Nurie wrote thier own vowels. Nurie hasn’t long left, Jill is sobbing away behind her.
Nathan’s were cute, he wants to give all of himself to Nurie, like jesus did the church, Be her spiritual head, etc, while he plays with the bracelet on her hand. Jill is about ready to wet herself as Nathan commits himself to her.. I’m surprised at this point she hasn’t elbowed Nurie out of the way.
1.14.18 Nuries turn- Jill looked like she was about to crash tackle nurie, but then she just fixed her veil. Nuries is exactly as Jill wrote, Praise Jesus, let him choose the size of their family, she is the boss of the house.. Actually they both mentioned the kid thing.
1.16.22 It’s ring time.
1.17.23 I think Nurie may be tone deaf, she’s belting out to Nathan, off key, but hes being very polite.. Jill however has lost it. She’s being comforted by Not Nurie. She composes herself and grins at her new husband.
1.20.31 2nd
phase of torture has been completed camera operation celebrated the end of that
one with a little dance.
1.20.43 They finally get to kiss! Both
are so excited. Nathan is all IN! Little Nathan I’m sure is too. They both turn
eager to run off and kiss again I imagine!
1.21.00 Introducing Mr and Mrs Nathan Keller. The RUN down the aisle to “ Hallelujah Chorus' from Handel's Messiah”
1.21.27 Jill practically Runs after Nurie, I assume to give Nathan the key to her chastity belt. Or tell them how to do it.
1.23.09 Little slide show of pictures of Nathan twirling Nurie around. Both do look ecstatic. Luckily Nurie is trim. My cynical heart even thinks some of these pictures are cute.
1.25.14- Jill put a disclaimer up that due to ohio being a hot spot for coronavirus lots of people didn’t come. Sure Jan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8fM1NMGEsM
1.25.23 They were so short on guests they invited the amish
1.25.26 Enabler and the kids congratulate Nurie and Nathan.
1.25.35 The entire Rod and Keller family picture sans spouses.
1.25.53 Reception time. Sexpest is MC again. This time he thanks god for the snacks. They reuse the butterfly, balloon décor from the rehearsal.
1.27.11 Josh intorduces Jasmine Kay? And David Waller
Priscilla Waller and Timothy Rodrigues
Hosanna Noble and Phillip Rodrigues
Kaylee, Renee, and Samuel Rodrigues
Tessie and Hannah Rodrigues
Daniel Keller
Olivia and Sofia Rodrigues. (Jill asks us to look for the lady in purple and
white she was the shitshow coordinator Her name was Kelly Moles)
Gabriel Rodrigues
David Keller ( Jill was announced but didn’t walk in)
Finally Nathan Carries the famished Nurie into the reception.
Josh hopes they have enough olives, carrots, cheese, and chex mix as it’s getting low.
1.30.33 Cake cutting time.
They almost pushed the cake over with the knife. I laughed solidly for
5mins at this, the wine is kicking in. Josh told him to get the cream on her
beautiful face. Ew. Nathan did it. This was apparently super funny to everyone
at the reception. Nurie got him one back. Jill still has not been seen. Nathan
then kisses the cream on her face. I would have decked my husband by now, yuck
Nurie took it well, and josh made everyone clap.
1.32.34 Bouquet toss Only Kaylee Rod was repping the Fam. Lydia Plath caught it.
1.32.52 Loud mouth Josh gets everyone to line up, to
farewell Nathan and Nurie. They blow bubbles. All Nuries sister kids hug her
goodbye. The video still has 28mins left. What horror still awaits me?
It’s their first time driving in a car without a chaperone! Nathan help nurie
into the car, Josh jokes that the chaperone should get in, Nathan is super
quick to quash this.
1.35.19 Jill is claiming the 2nd Reception. This one must have been
put on by The Kellers or it might be the anniversary Party?
Josh again announces the Bnidal Party, he’s got no microphone this time so his voice isn’t as jarring.
After a little while Jill finally seen. Her partner David
Keller was escorting her and suddenly Shrek comes into the picture LOL was he
making sure the other David doesn’t
muscle in on his woman. I think your safe Shrek, Jilly has a type. And
it’s not young good looking men.
Nathan and Nurie enter and they sit at the head table but not with the Bnidal
Party with their Parents, This is called the Last Supper.
1.37.22 Mike and Suzette Cut a Nicer Cake then Nurie and Nathan. N&N wanted to be married on their wedding anniversary. I guess for good luck. Mike has a Spreach (Speech+Preach)
1.38.24 Rebekah Keller has a speech apologising to her mother as she has teenage daughters now, she is dressed immodestly in Jilly’s books.
Priscilla’s turn. She sounds like some spiked the punch, She’s slurring
Enablers Turn, And Sexpest takes the baby off of her. They talk about how they could hear their parents through the trailer.. That’s a bit creepy. Anna thinks they just pray about everything in there Bless her little cotton socks :D How many Siblings does she have???
Nathan now rambles on about how the kellers visit the prisons and apparently Suzette had awful arthritis and couldn’t even open doors a few months ago, and how is dad was there in sickness and in health.
1.41.47 Nathan tells of how he asked for a sign to get to know nurie , then he opened the bible and few paragraphs down he found the sun of Nuri (Nuri is city in Modern Sudan) and he thought seriously, wow it’s neat how the lord led me to her through my parents. Well Nurie if you name was anything else you wouldn’t be sitting there!
1.46.06 Camera operater is drunk again, or is falling asleep from all the spreaches like me.
1.46.19 Nuries turn to tell us how her heart went to Nathan, She basically just prayed for someone to love her they visited the kellers a few times and in 2018 they couldn’t so she thought her job was to serve as a single female, then Nathan called and said he hadn’t forgotten about her, She had put him out of her mind but then HE WANTED to come to her house. Not for 1 day but 3 days!
1.48.10 The head of the Rodrigues Family speaks. She doesn’t wear the pants though they are slutty and immodest , She is thankful for the prayer warriors that are Mike and Suzette. She feels part of their family.
1.48.59 David Cries talking about Mike Keller?? This was an unexpected development. Mike and David not Adam and Steve.
1.49.24 David announced the lord is coming and people must be saved through the gospel! Is that because it books float and we climb on them to be saved? No? Oh maybe the prayer warriors are our saviours.
1.49.58 Happy Anniversary God Bless you to the tune of Happy Birthday is being sung and pictures of Mike and Suzette cutting the cake and kissing.
1.50.14 Back to Nathan and Nurie, Keller Brother David (Nathan is the most unfortunate looking Keller Boy by the looks) talks about Nathan, she shares cute stories about how he Nathan would play Cowboys and Indians and He (David) was always the Indian. Nathan says it’s because he always wanted to be lone ranger and now, he is! This explains the white suit. All he needs is the mask, Yes Nathan Masks especially in the US right now would be so clever.
Behind Nathan and Nurie are their name tags I’m so glad they are there I might have forgotten Jill wasn’t the bride.
1.52.32 The microphone stops working, He says maybe he should stop talking. (No! out of all the voices I’ve heard in the past 2 hours, his was the best one) He mocks destroying the mic. Jill skipped his speech forward a few times, it’s not about her so that’s probably why.
1.53.20 Jill takes the mic again, this is why she skipped forward, she had to hear herself speak again.
Nurie is definitely a good friend to Jill, Last night she gave all her family gifts and letters and they were all sobbing. The kellers assured them this was NORMAL and priscilla cried for 3 weeks. Way to enabled each other. This is NOT NORMAL HEALTHY BEHAVIOR!
Jill talked about how lonely she was in her marriage before Nurie came along. And how she forgets she is a mother and not her Daughters SISTERS.. What? She used to ring a bell to get the cows to come home. Er Kids.. not cows oops She telling how Nurie is dyslexic and ring was belling.. buts it’s okay because she love gods with her whole heart. She also want grandchildren so get to it. She patting herself on the back as apparently people told her this was the most god faring wedding they’ve been to.. I think she is delusional.
1.57.20 Jill is crying and Nathan and Nurie are pleading with their eyes that she shut the fuck up already so they can go home and touch each other.
1.57.54 Priscilla must have spoken theres a only a picture
of her hold ing the mic thank god. Then one of the younger Rod Boys. And a Not
Nurie, more unrecognisable people. The Severely quadriplegic Amy Foster.Another
Not Nurie, Lydia Plath, and Hosanna Noble and her hubby.
1.58.29 The finally signed all the official crap! I’ve endured almost two hours
and they’ve finally signed their lives away!
1.58.37 They are married! They got changed and now they are leaving again! I know this one is real as I am almost at the end!
1.59.35 and they drive off into the sunset
2.00.21 The credits roll I did it. I fucking did it.
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